The Second Time Around

The Blessing

I never thought that trying to have a second baby would be that frustrating- thwarted with the fact on second infertility was making me a worrywart mommy. But I always believe that God has his own cue on when the clock will strike at its finest. After almost a year of trying finally I got two lines, but at first one line was fainted. Ronie wouldn’t consider it as positive, so I bought a digital test. Fortuitously the mark was PREGNANT. But I wasn’t contented, I bought 6 more tests and it all says I am having baby. Yes I am having my second baby! And we are all blessed and blissful!

First Trimester

Unintentionally, I couldn’t help but compare all the pregnancy symptoms that I experience with my first. Everything seems so diverse. I had the worst sense of starvation. Even if I eat 6 mini meals daily, my body can’t withstand it. I want more food with salty palate and beefy diet. I had no cravings for ice cream, cakes or any sweet chow. My sense of smell is getting odd too! I feel like I am transmuting to a dog that can easily smell all species of bad whiff. My daughter Zethry is the only person who smells so wholesome to me- I like to sleep by her and cuddle her all day.

Prenatal Check-up

I was on my 9^th week when I had my first pre-natal check-up.  I had an afternoon appointment with the most thorough OB check and the scariest blood test. I feel like I was going through a blood transfusion. It was like having a faucet of red plasma dripping out, filling 13 tubes for all types of test in this biosphere.  It all went satisfactory except with my first sonogram, which I find petrifying. 

At first the sonographer confirmed that I had an extroverted (tipped) uterus and she could not find the baby. My reaction was vexed but anticipative for God is with me. I was floating on my way to the 5^th floor of the hospital building (OB department for high-risk pregnancy). And I took another ultrasound. The lady radiologist had a blank stare at the screen and it took her almost 30 minutes to scan thru my womb that had made me more bothered. The OB confirmed my EDC (estimated date of confinement) and redate it to July 8, 2014 instead of June 26, 2014 (another JULY birth?) The baby is still 7 weeks. I was teary-eyed hearing his/her heartbeat for the first time. Although the OB did not give me any explanation on my tipped uterus, I still feel safeguarded. Yet worried for she scheduled me to have an ultrasound again after two weeks then another one at three weeks after that.

I concede… I am agitated, anxious, concerned but I am setting my feet aboveboard. I have to uncover my worries with positivity. Everything will be on its precise route. I have GOD with me. He will guide us across all this with His loving protection and compassion.

Papa Marcial Ricacho Sr. Burial: Words of Thanks

Maayung Buntag kanatong tanan.

Kami ni Charisse uban sa akong mga anak nga si Mayek, Totot, An-an, Macy og Min-min og mga apo nga si Lexie, Kayla, Marcuz og Zethry malipayon nga magpasalamat sa tanan nga ania karon sa paguban kanamo sa paghatod kay Papa sa laing kinabuhi uban sa Ginoo.

Dako among kalipay nga sa panahon nga ania kami dinhi sa laing nasod anaa ang pamilya ni Edison and Mayette Villegas nga kanunay nag alagad kay Papa sa tanan nga occasyon hantod sa iyang kamatayon. Sila ang nahimong pamilya ni papa sa panahon nga wala mi sa pasko, sa iyang birthday og sa mga anniversaries.

Nagpasalamat pud mi sa akong mga igsoon nga si Randy og Jackie, kay Bebeth og Edgar, Teteck og Tony uban sa ilang mga anak og apo nga miuli gyud bisan sa kalayo sa ilang gibyahi.

Daghang salamat pud sa akong brother-in-law nga si Dennis Mijares uban sa iyang asawa nga si Hilda sa pagtabang niining lubong.

Salamat pud kaayu kay Loma Emano sa mga gracia nga iyang gihatag sa among pamilya.

Kay Msgr Roa, Fr Raul Ricacho og Fr Gary Igot, salamat sa inyong walay paglubad nga serbisyo kanamo og sa Ginoo.

Sa mga kaparyentihan, Roa and Ricacho Family, among kahigalaan, ang mga taga Bugo, mga umalagad sa simbahan, kami buot nga magpasalamat usab sa inyong pag uban kanamo sa tibuok kinabuhi ni Papa Mars og hantod karon.

Sa mga tao nga nagtuo nga kami wala naghatag og panahon, sa tinuod lang, wala namo gipasagdan ang among amahan bisan kami ania sa layo. Uban sa akong mga igsoon og among pamilya, namuyo kami sa laing dapit, sa kalisod sa among kinabuhi dinhi kami kanunay nga gapaningkamot nga matagaan namo si Papa Mars og supporta sa tanang aspeto sa kinabuhi. Kanunay kami nga naga uban kay Papa sama sa mga pag ampo og sa espirito santo.

Sa lain nga bahin, kami nalipay pag maayo nga daghan mitabang sa among pamilya bisan pa wala ang among presensya. Nagatuo usab kami nga nagsadya ang among ginikinan kay ania kamo dinhi tanan karon og pirmi nga naga uban kanamo sa tanang higayon.

We are deeply saddened for the loss of our Father, Grandfather and Greatgrandfather Papa Mars. But we believe that he is happy to rest in peace with our Good Lord together with Mama Lily. Thank you very much and May God Bless us all!

Bobong and Family

Destiny over reality, a Special Past over a Perfect Present

I was always bringing fear with me... too afraid of loosing a relationship... anxious of having all my plans left unaccomplished- to marry and have children before I reach thirty. I was scared of being alone and single forever. So I fought for everything even if it requires loosing my sanity and choosing reality over destiny. I was a controller of life... I decided thru my head more than to inricate what I feel. 

Exactly 5 years ago something triggered my inner soul. I have been keeping this past life alive in a way to make fairy tales come true. But when a state of destiny ends... reality comes unnoticed. It may sound as perfect as I planned it to be but I can't always get what I wanted. It remained intangible, sound real yet so impossible to comprehend.. so it's better to leave it the way it was... a special memory... 

When a sudden guilt emerged...I struggled to fight or to give up.. to hold on or to let go....to live or just die...

Well... I chose the END... for I believe that things would be better if I can no longer feel the pain. I did not care for my family's feelings not even the consequences that I would face after with my God. I claim that I am in pain and I have to stop it. That was my way coping a breakdown, that was my way of facing guilt, that was my way of me finding joy from a looosing battle.. a sinking ship... 

It was an endless realization of events. Everyday I rationalize my actions. I started to give myself importance. I learned a lot from my mistakes. I loved myself more... I asked for forgiveness... I was me again.. But to start a new me there's nothing to do more but to burry that special past as part of a beautiful love story.

Now that I am happily married.. I chose this perfect present as part of my painful past... I came to conquer life with brevity. I may sometime be in a silly state. I may often be this stubborn. But I always am trying to be a perfectly right mother for my daughter and a sane wife to my husband. I see to it that as much as possible I would stop complaining of the things that I failed to do and give more efforts to the actions that I must do.

Destiny will always be part of a reality when we learn to embrace the facts. In a world filled with millions of heads, there would always be the ONE that stands out... That one will always be your special someone. We may or may not have ended up together, but I guess what matters most is that each day we are able to live with a momentum of contentment... Being able to seize the day... living in Carpe Diem and always finding our Joie de Vivre (Joy of Living).